"Baby" needs a better nickname

I was listening to the news last week and this one almost had me blow OJ all over my beloved Eggos. The story was about testimony in Martha Stewart's insider trading trial. Martha's defense is trying to say that her broker's assistant was fixated on her (*sarcasm on* perfectly logical, who wouldn't be? It's Martha freakin' Stewart! *sarcasm off) and basically set her up.

The defense produced emails this schlub wrote to his friends after he spoke to Stewart. Apparently, she wasn't very nice to him on the phone. This was the best part. The text of one email read:

"Martha yelled at me again today, but I snapped in her face and she actually backed down! Baby put Ms. Martha in her place!!!"

Now I don't know what' s worse--that the guy refers to himself in the 3rd person in emails or that when doing so, calls himself "Baby." No, wait. Yeah, I do know which is worse. Grown men shouldn't refer to themselves as "Baby." The fact that he did it while telling someone how badass he was for standing up to Mean Martha Stewart makes it that much funnier.